Are you missing opportunities to connect with others?
- healingwithalisha
- Dec 12, 2025
- 1 min read
Someone says to you-"hey, look at that car!"
You could respond in multiple ways...
1) say "I'm trying to drive"
2) look towards the car
3) or say, "The red on? What do you like about it?"
Response number one tells the person you aren't interested in what they are trying to say. This person has made an effort to connect with you, and you shut them down. This is not only a problem in the moment, but also in the long-term. It erodes relationships and the person trying to connect eventually stops. A wedge develops and the relationship becomes one characterized by being guarded and disconnected. This happens with family, friends, partners, and our children.
Response number two tells them you are listening, but don't really care to connect any further than that. This makes them feel alone and unheard or appreciated. Some people ignore, others begin to talk about themselves or change the conversation to something else.
Response number three says I care about what you have to say, and I want to know more about you. It says you are important to me, and I value our relationship.
While this information might seem like not much-it is really important to be mindful of this! To create a strong relationship with our partners, children, friends and family, we need to practice responding to bids to connection in a meaningful way.
In our next blog, we learn how equine-assisted psychotherapy can help us learn to connect on a meaningful level without the pressure of saying the right things.
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